Monday weigh in...

...2 pounds down!

This week has not been fabulous as far as the whole losing weight... but in the end I am down 2 pounds! I think it is really only because I worked out, not because I ate well. I had good eating days and I had bad eating days... so, now if I can just figure out how to make them all good eating days, I will be set!

I really want to lose weight, not because I am a vein person, but partly because I just want to be able to wear my regular clothes and partly because I just want to prove to myself I can do it. I have never been the "skinny girl" or even considered "thin", in fact most of my life I was the "fat girl" and it wasn't until college that I even realized I could really lose weight.

When I started college I weighed close to 230 pounds. I wore a size 20... yep... 20. When I got to college, I thought I would gain that freshmen 15 and just have to learn to be content being the "fat girl". But to my total surprise I lost almost 60 pounds in a matter of months... to this day I still have no idea what I did or how I lost it.

I remember walking into American Eagle and for the first time ever I was able to fit into their jeans... I remember grabbing a size 16 and when I tried them on they were too big... I was shocked... so I grabbed a size 14 and they fit! I think I might have shed a few tears of joy and I vowed I would never be that fat again... and I haven't been... well, I was when I was pregnant with Wyatt... but not when I was not pregnant.

8 years later I am wishing I knew what I did to lose that weight... not that I need to lose that much... or that I am that fat, but I think it would be really nice to just lose weight without having to work at it or think about every thing I am putting in my mouth. Why can't it just be easy? Why does it have to be this constant battle for me? I don't really know... but I do know it is not a battle I am planning on losing!

Next Monday morning I will weigh in again, and I plan on being down more then 2 pounds! I have a few size 12 jeans in my closet waiting for me to be able to fit back into them... and my goal is to be in them by Christmas! Wish me luck... I have a lot of work ahead of me... and I am sure I will have my share of bad eating days, but I am really REALLY hoping that the good eating days will out weigh the bad! And yes... the pun was intended :)

Happy eating!