No? Yah, I am not quite sure if I get what I am saying... let me try to explain a little better.
So, I, being a stay at home mom, spend pretty much every waking moment with my children around me. I mean, I don't even go to the bathroom without one, or both, of my children in the restroom with me. But yesterday as I was talking with my dear friend, Kelly, about motherhood and the calling that the Lord has given both of us to be stay at home moms and home makers, I was convicted. We talked about how we so easily get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life that we rarely take time to really spend time with our children. And then I got home and read a blog that further convicted me. Mckmama said that someday we would miss these days... the days when our children want us to play with them, want us around, want... us. And I was convicted that I, like many other stay at home moms, take the precious time I have with my children for granted.
I will be the first to admit it, I am selfish. There are many days when I think nap time can't come soon enough so I can have some me time. Or days when I get frustrated at my children because I am in the middle of something (something that is probably not even important). Or days when I planned on doing laundry and they just need my attention all day long. Or days when I just want to play on the computer and I just want them to sit and watch a movie. Really? Am I really that selfish? Sadly, I am.
So, I have been convicted. Convicted of my own selfishness and truly convicted that I have not been a good steward of the precious gifts the Lord has blessed me with.
So, today I tried. I tried to set aside my selfishness, and tried to put my children before myself... I tried to remember that someday I will miss these days... I tried to remember that my children and their salvation is much MUCH more important than a few minutes of me time... I tried to remember that I want desperately to bring glory to God and be a good steward of these precious children he has entrusted to me. I tried to remember these things. Tried... and failed at some points.... but mostly tried.
I am praying that I will get better at truly spending time with my children... not letting the days go by just waiting for my me time to come, but taking advantage of the time I have to teach and train my children in the ways of the Lord and taking advantage of this time that the Lord will teach and train me through the time I spend with my children.
I am thankful that the Lord used a friend and a blog to convict me... when these years have passed, I will be so thankful that I took advantage of this time with my children.... when days are long and hard, I will really try to remember that I will miss these days (even if I think I wont, I know I will)... when Wyatt wants to snuggle and I want to do the dishes, I will remember that he is more important than an empty sink... when Icyle wakes up and wants to nurse in the middle of the night, I will remember that soon enough she wont need me at all... and so I stand convicted... let me always remember.